I should wake them up so they will sleep tonight. On second thought, carpe diem, suckas.
I should clean. What’s on t.v.?
If I play a Sophia the First for her, the show plus commercials will give me a 30 minute nap but a Doc McStuffins triple play…..
I dare you to knock on my door like the FBI one more time, UPS man.
If I hear one more song, sound, or comment from behind her door, there shall be lashes and gnashing of teeth.
Why are they talking to each other? Can’t they just not like each other like they did 15 minutes ago playing queen mom and daughter?
What is laying around this house I can bribe them with….
I hate Elsa.
Wait a second, it’s been quiet for 10 minutes and I just now noticed. I better run to bed so I don’t lose one second of sleep because if I do, I’m not talking to myself anymore and we are breaking up.
Dear Lord, Please let them sleep. Even if it’s just for 30 minutes. Please let them sleep. I promise to be a better mom when
we they wake up.
Why can’t my house be bigger? What if I could have a floor for each child to be on and then no one would hear them, they wouldn’t hear each other…. (I get so excited by this thought that I start laughing in a creepy way. I hear myself and stop. Back to 2,000 square feet where we’re safe.)
Thinking to myself, “Aw, I bet that look of evil that spreads on my face when I shush them over the sleeping baby I’m holding will mess them up for years.”
“Mom, why do I have to nap?” Well, first things first, I’m the realest…
“Alright, that’s it! You’ve lost a privilege!” Child begins to get upset: “What privilege, momma?” Crap. I should of thought of that in advance. Uhhhhhh…..I’ll tell you later.
Yeah right, I bet you have to pee.
Oprah voice: “You get a spanking! YOU get a spanking. They all get spankingsssssss!”
If so much as a mouse farts in this house and wakes someone up, I’m calling the police.