Last night in bed, I gave Lance a disheartening prophecy for this new year: our hometown will experience a devastating earthquake. I’m sorry to just put it out there like that. It was tough to deliver the news to him and now to you all is just hard to cope with.
I know it’s hard to tell but I’m being halfway serious. A few days ago, southern Indiana had a 4.5 earthquake. About a year ago here in my hometown, some of us woke up to our house rumbling. Others rumbled but slept through it. See exhibit Lance.
If you grew up around here, your whole life you learned in school that if we ever have an earthquake that it will be massively destructive. I remember learning that in elementary school. Probably because it freaked me out so bad that I dropped my trapper keeper every time. At least it wasn’t the pencil box that had all the gadgets that popped out like a swiss army knife.
Fortunately for us, we all live over one of, if not the worst, fault lines in the ole’ U.S. of A. To add insult to injury, our city pretty much sits on top of one of the world’s largest cave systems. Nothing like your home sitting on nice, sturdy hollow ground. mmmmmmmm.
About 5 years ago, a street just completely fell into the ground while cars were driving on it. It was a hole the size of either a baseball field or football field. I know that’s a big difference but when your car drops into the earth, who can get lost in such details? You can’t. You just get lost in the hole and basically that’s all.
Looks like we are headed for doom just like all of our teachers told us. We are a ticking, shaking, cave time bomb.
I was talking to a buddy about how I feel impending wobbling doom coming upon town and she said, “You know what to do in an earthquake, right?”
“Of course. Get under my school desk.”
Our teachers terrified us all to just equip us with the survival skill of getting under a desk. Guess I should purchase of few of those. I’ll need a few in the style of school desks from 1993 because that is what they taught me is best and I follow my leaders.
Then I said, “Really, I know. Stand in a door way in a jumping jack position. But how can I do that with a baby?”
She replied, “I guess you’ll have to do it with one hand.”
“Okay buuuuut I really hope I can hold my house up with just one hand. Two I’m sure about but one…..”
Look at me, laughing at this peril knocking at our door.
If this really does happen and I fall into the depths of my crawl space and die and then you read this blog and feel real sad because I was joking about it and then it got me in the end, don’t feel too bad. I had a real good time writing this one. Plus, I really believe in the strength of my strong hand and elbow.